


Equivalent Exchange

by setosdarkness



Category: Hunter X Hunter
Genre: #HisoIlluVows, #HisoIlluWedding, Canon Compliant, Engagement, M/M, Manga Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-13
Updated: 2018-03-13
Packaged: 2019-03-30 19:48:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,379
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13958736
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/setosdarkness/pseuds/setosdarkness
Summary: Hisoka proposes to Illumi.





	Equivalent Exchange

**Author's Note:**

> i haven't written HxH fic in ages... though i've been keeping up with the series since 1999. i never thought hisoka/illumi will become canon, ever, but i guess, what a time to be alive huh LOL
> 
> feedback is appreciated!!!♥ but mostly, congrats to these two fuckers, they deserve each other 8D
> 
> if you have time, please do check out the #HisoIlluVows Event [here](https://hisoilluwedding.tumblr.com/post/171798163007/hisoilluwedding-congratulations-you-have-been)! ♥

Illumi checks in to his current hotel for the week, ten minutes after midnight. York Shin City being what it is, all of its hotels offer all-day check-ins; Zoldicks being what they are, they have special connections when it comes to booking very private suites. The moment Illumi swipes his room key over the card detector, he already knows that there’s someone who has broken in. It’s mildly unpleasant, because Illumi plans his assassination assignments in easy-to-understand blocks. It’s also mildly interesting, because to break in to his suite requires more than the usual degree of _Nen_ mastery.

The moment Illumi actually steps inside the suite, he knows that he’s bound to have a migraine. The aura is a bit different – to think that the other man still has some skills that he hasn’t told Illumi outright… – but at its core, it’s still undeniably _Hisoka_.

“I thought you already died.” Illumi says to the man who’s surely lounging either inside the luxurious _jacuzzi_ or making a mess of the bedsheets. Now that Illumi is aware about his visitor’s identity, he’s not in any real hurry to be face-to-face with him. “The news had a field day, talking about your deathmatch.”

Hisoka’s never bothered to watch news or read the newspaper. At first, Illumi had expected that Hisoka would love seeing his mug or hearing his name, but he had the wrong expectations. Hisoka loves attention, but only if he’s the one garnering it for himself. A classical show-off.

Illumi doesn’t hear Hisoka’s response. There’s no way that his hearing is faulty, so Hisoka must be keeping a silent treatment. There’s a smell of burnt rubber masking the scent of blood. Illumi faintly hopes that Hisoka didn’t manage to escape death from Chrollo’s hands only to wind up dead inside Illumi’s hotel room. Going to the opposite end of the city to get a new hotel room is annoying.

Illumi removes the needles contorting his face while on the living area. He knows that Hisoka will probably pout at him for robbing him of the chance to observe it in action for the fifty-fourth time. But it’s an equivalent exchange of Hisoka showing up without sending him their usual, unspoken-of, text message.

It gives him a little bit more time, to get his thoughts in order.

He had been on a working spree this past week. His parents had been delighted, with the amount of jobs he had managed to complete in just a short amount of time. They all knew he was capable, but they had been utterly delighted to see him go above and beyond.

It’s not entirely because of him learning about Hisoka’s supposed death at the hands of Chrollo. The timing matches, but it’s a coincidence.

Huffing a little bit, Illumi then makes his way to the grand bedroom of the hotel suite. He’s a bit mollified by seeing Hisoka there, in a shameless sort-of starfish in the middle of his bed. Hisoka is completely naked, half-hard, the smell of gum and rubber nearly suffocating Illumi. Without Texture Surprise, the extent of Hisoka’s injuries are evident. Illumi hums, impressed despite himself. Illumi can take Chrollo out if it’s a fight to death, ending in a draw. One-on-one. With 98% certainty. Based on the news, it was far from one-on-one. It’s disadvantageous to Hisoka, despite the man enjoying an audience and the amount of distraction they can provide. Illumi tilts his head a bit, a little amused that Hisoka’s getting more erect, despite the blood loss that he had suffered and the cool temperature.

“Do you have a job for me?”

Because they only ever contact each other if they need something. Sometimes it’s fairly traditional, like being a body double, or helping with a family’s inner mission. Sometimes, it’s a tad more unconventional, like Hisoka getting bored and wanting someone to play cards with—poker where each lost hand means a needle stabbed somewhere truly uncomfortable. Sometimes, it’s Illumi needing to bring with him a companion to some high society function, someone flashy and distracting enough to take off the attention from his assassination job. Most of the time, they pay via wire transfers, a couple of times where they just traded favors, some times where they indulged curiosities about blood and breath and flesh.

So this time shouldn’t be any different.

Hisoka smiles at him, a lazy sort of smile more befitting of cats sunbathing without a care in the world. He makes some motion with his hand, waving Illumi off to pick up a stack of papers on the bedside table. Illumi hates Hisoka on principle upon making him pick up a contract, printed in nearly ineligible size. It’s an actual contract, though. A prenuptial agreement, to be exact.

“…You want to marry me?”

Illumi reaches the last page and sees _Hisoka Morow_ and his signature. Illumi’s name is there, space for signature left blank. The fact that Hisoka is even showing him this, instead of merely pasting on a forged signature thanks to his _Nen_ Ability is the most surprising thing, so far.

“I want us to marry each other~♡” A useless sort of correction, but Hisoka’s smile is still indolent. “Read the next part~♠”

Illumi does, even without Hisoka’s prompting. It’s a shorter document, an addendum to the prenup. “You want us to get married, then have a game of death tag as our honeymoon so I could kill you. And if I do, I get to have all of your money and properties.”

“Sounds good, right? ♧” Hisoka beckons him to bed, which is absurd, because it’s Illumi’s bed to begin with. Oh. But then if they get married then it’s both their beds, right. “Photocopy of my bank statements are in the page after that~~~♣”

“I accept.” Illumi’s dragging one of the pins over the space for his signature. “Do I have a time limit?”

“Illumi~~~♦, marriage is supposed to last our entire lifetime~~~♥!”

“So I won’t get anything until I kill you.” Illumi tilts his head again, considering. “You’re this invested in getting one over Chrollo?”

Hisoka’s smile doesn’t waver, but it doesn’t need to. “We can get rings together tomorrow~! ☆”

“…I’ll ask Milluki if he has some _toys_ I can use.”

Rather: get some communicator that can be fitted on his finger, then have Hisoka use Texture Surprise to disguise it. Add Bungee Gum too, so that they could stay connected? He’ll leave it up to Hisoka on how to set up his death stage.

“Mm~♬, I’m glad you understand.”

Hisoka beckons him again. This time, Illumi doesn’t resist, unbuttoning his pants and letting them fall to the floor before he sits himself on Hisoka’s cock in one smooth motion. The lack of any sort of prep makes his insides burn, but it’s hardly anything to get worried over. Now that Hisoka’s alive and breathing and giving him a headache, it’s not like Illumi needs to continue his workaholic spree anymore.

“Are you hunting the Spiders in order?”

“Are you worried about your little brother? ♤” Hisoka looks genuinely curious about his answer. “You don’t mention him as much as Killua, after all~♢”

Illumi doesn’t frown, but he’s a bit… taken aback by the fact that Hisoka’s letting him set the pace. “It will be good training for him.”

“I won’t hold back, you know~~~♪”

“Like I said: good training.”

“I want to be able to hear you speak with Chrollo about us~~★”

“I’ll get something that can transmit clearly.” Illumi doesn’t roll his eyes, though it’s a close call.

Though… Illumi is a bit curious, about Chrollo’s reaction, upon finding out that a new member is yet another leg that the Spider can lose. He probably won’t care. People with that much power and ability tend to not care about the small inconveniences. Which is why Illumi also doesn’t really care about his reaction. He’ll do his job, he’ll get his reward, life goes on—if he survives. It’s simple and easy to understand.

“…Hey~♫ Since we’re just engaged now, we’ll have to consummate our marriage too, okay?”

Illumi’s lips twitch. It can even be called a smile. It is anything and everything, to his fiancé.

“What will you give me, in exchange?”

Hisoka’s sinister smile answers in return.


End file.
